


Shrovetide

by JediDiplomat



Category: Actor RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-17
Updated: 2011-03-17
Packaged: 2017-10-31 11:43:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/343667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JediDiplomat/pseuds/JediDiplomat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeff's got a dilemma, Jensen helps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shrovetide

**Author's Note:**

> Shrovetide is typically the week before Lent wherein Catholics are supposed to be getting themselves ready for Lent by partaking in the sacrament of Reconciliation.

Jensen found it by accident. Jeff had left some Tylenol in his backpack and Jensen had a headache that would probably be considered a migraine if he got those. Which he didn't, nor was he a pussy, but seriously, his head felt like Athena was trying to break her way out of his skull. Hence the Tylenol. Instead, he found it. It was possibly the smallest one he'd seen, with wooden beads and what looked like glow in the dark paint. He thought nothing of it, at the time he wasn't thinking of much of anything except sweet sweet pain relief and he put it back where he'd found it as he palmed the Tylenol.

It was almost a month later when he found the second one. Jeff was in the shower and Jensen was searching for lube. The box was deep down in the depths of Jeff's sock drawer and Jensen couldn't help his curiosity. Pulling out the brown jewelry box and opening it. He wasn't sure what he'd find: Jeff's old wedding ring, an eclectic piece of jewelry that he picked up on his travels, or a hippy necklace like Steve always wore. He wasn't expecting a tiny crucifix and even smaller gun metal gray beads.

Sending a guilty look toward the shower, Jensen pulled it out. He knew what it was by looking at it. Jensen himself might not have familiarity with a rosary, but he hadn't lived with a devout Polish Catholic for five years and learned absolutely nothing about them. And yet, Jensen hadn't really pegged Jeff as being religious, his cross fetish aside. He tucked it back into the box and put it back where he found it.

"Hey," Jensen called out, feeling more and more like that crazy girlfriend that checked her boyfriend's phone for messages. "Where's the lube?"

There was no answer, but Jensen wasn't even sure that Jeff could hear him over the sound of the water. Jensen let out a breath he was holding a made a note to pay more attention to Jared's rambling about faith from now on.

By the time he found the third one, Jensen was pretty damn sure he was being fucked with. Seriously, using religion to fuck with someone's head was not cool. Jensen was pretty fucking damn sure that there had been no glow in the dark rosary tacked above Jeff's bed. He'd have fucking noticed, he was sure of it. But there it was, in all it's lurid glory. Jensen glared at it, and while he felt guilty glaring, he didn't all that guilty because it'd been months since he'd seen Jeff and he was not going to engage in sex in front of Jesus. Especially when He was nailed to a cross.

Jensen then glared over at Jeff who was busy getting ready for bed and didn't seem to mind the fact that there was a glow in the dark crucified Jesus hanging above their bed! "Jeff?" He asked, trying to be all neutral and supportive but really, he had his limits.

"Yeah?" Jeff asked turning toward him where he was stripping down to his boxers.

"What's up with the rosary?" Jensen asked, and then winced. He'd been going for subtle but apparently he was trying out the Christian Kane version of subtlety.

Jeff flicked his gaze upward and then back to Jensen. There was the look of a little boy caught doing something he shouldn't before he sighed and came over and sat down on the bed. "I, uh...I'm not sure where to start."

Jensen raised an eyebrow and got himself comfortable on the bed. He had a feeling it was going to be one of those discussions. The kind that was going to take most of the night and not end in sex. "Why is there a rosary above the bed?"

Jeff rubbed the back of his neck, "It felt like the thing to do."

Jensen frowned, "you don't want to have sex with me ever again? Because I have to tell you the only thing creepier was going to Jared's parents place and seeing the light up Virgin Mary statue in the back yard. Thought I was having a religious experience."

Jeff quirked a grin at him, "you didn't happen to be drunk at the time?"

Jensen waved him off, "completely irrelevant. What's going on?"

Jeff let out a breath. "I... it's been a long time. And now, with everything going well, I dunno, it just seemed... " he trailed off. Jensen waited, wondering this it was coming from and where it was going. When it was obvious Jeff really didn't know where to start, Jensen gave him the olive branch.

"Where'd you get the glow in the dark rosary?"

Jeff huffed out a laugh, "would you believe I had it as a kid? Kept the monsters away, or so I thought."

Jensen glanced up at it, "Did it work?"

Jeff looked at him, then down at his lap, "for a long time, it did." he said quietly. "Then... I dunno, I left, didn't look back but now I wonder..."

"You wonder if you made a mistake," Jensen finished, realizing what this was. What it was about and how blind he'd been about it from the very beginning. Jeff was Jeff. He did things his own way, always had. That combination of little boy and grown man that all his fangirls cooed over. The man was trying to reclaim the trust of a child, but he wasn't a child any longer.

“It's stupid,” Jeff said.

Jensen shook his head, “no. It's not.”

Jeff glanced over at him, then up at the rosary. “Tomorrow's Ash Wednesday. I found it yesterday, thought why the fuck not? Everything's going well, no reason not to.”

Jensen mulled that over as he slid over and rubbed Jeff's arms, trying to get him to relax. He had to phrase this right, keep Jeff talking to understand where this was coming from, if there was anything he could do to help. “Did you want to go?” Jensen asked quietly.

“Where? To Mass? Jensen, not sure they're going to let me in,” Jeff said with a snort.

“Why not?” Jensen asked.

Jeff gave him a look before dropping his head down. “Was excommunicated when I divorced my wife, Jen. It's...it's permanent, no way to get in. They fuckin' locked me out.”

Jensen frowned, he knew that divorce was illegal in the Catholic church, but this was a bit overboard. Especially considering they hadn't done anything to those priests and they had sinned much more than anything Jeff had done.

Jeff looked over at him and smiled, “It's ok, Jens. I made my peace with it years ago." He glanced up at the rosary, "I don't even know why I thought about it."

Jensen kissed the back of Jeff's neck, "If you want to go, we can go." Jensen repeated, "Excommunication doesn't mean you can't go to church services..."

Jeff snorted, "it's not just that Jens. There's this too," he said waving his hand between them. "I don't regret this, what we have, but the Church isn't exactly opening its arms."

Jensen shook his head, "the Catholic Church is a 2000 year old institution. It's never going to be progressive. Doesn't mean there aren't individual parishes that would welcome us." Jensen made a note to do some digging around tomorrow.

Jeff shook his head, "no. No, I made my bed, Jens. I'll sleep in it."

Jensen kissed his shoulder, "not alone. You're stuck with me.”

Jeff turned in Jensen's arms and kissed him. “I know.”

* * *

Jensen heard the door unlock and glanced up in time to see Jeff coming in the door. Shit, he was going to have to wrap this up faster than he'd thought. He'd been hoping for a long meeting with the suits at Starz, but apparently those assholes did their business and got out. He supposed it should be a good thing, and probably was for Jeff, but he could have used an extra thirty minutes.

“Hey man, I gotta run. Thanks though.”

Jared chuckled, “Hey, no problem, dude. Gramma would be very happy to hear that all those years of beating dogma in my head was some use. Gimme a call if you need anything else, yeah?”

Jensen nodded, “will do. See you after hiatus.” Jensen shut off his phone and smiled over at Jeff. “hey, how was your meeting?”

Jeff snorted as he grabbed a beer from the fridge. “Long, boring, but they're still doing the show and looks like I've got costars, so in the end, productive.”

Jensen shut his laptop down, having already programmed his phone with the location, before going over to Jeff and kissing him. “Awesome. Figured we'd order in. Didn't think you'd be up to cooking and I know how you feel about me in your kitchen.”

Jeff made a face and Jensen figured he was probably remembering the one time Jensen had tried to cook. Jensen hadn't even known you could destroy pans that high quality but he had. The look on Jeff's face was almost comical, but not enough to court death by doing it again.

“Yeah, that... yeah,” Jeff said, as Jensen started to slid his hands down Jeff's front to undo his pants. Jeff stopped him before he got too far. “Jens... I... don't take this the wrong way, but not tonight.”

Jensen backed off with another kiss and pulled Jeff over to the couch. He flicked a glance up to the crucifix over the fireplace and wondered how he'd ever missed it. “So, did some digging today,” he glanced over at Jeff, gaging his reaction. He had to be delicate here, but he had a feeling he'd been hanging with Steve and Chris too much lately to do subtle well.

“About...” Jeff asked, drawling out the words.

“Catholic dogma. Turns out, since 1983 divorce isn't an excommunicable offense.”

Jeff raised an eyebrow, “that right?” He said, taking a sip of his beer.

Jensen nodded slowly watching Jeff out of the corner of his eye, “you're even allowed the sacraments. Only time you're cut off is if you remarry.” He turned and faced Jeff, “which... you don't have to worry about, considering there is a better chance of the Anti-Christ showing up than there is of the Pope ever allowing same sex marriage.”

“Jens...” Jeff started.

Jensen shook his head, “no, listen to me. If you don't wanna go because you don't believe or this isn't your thing, that's fine. But if you've just stayed away because you thought you had to, that you were somehow tainted? That's fucking bullshit.

“I found a progressive parish not that far from here. If you wanna go, I'll go with you. If you don't, we'll just forget about it.” Jensen cupped Jeff's face, “Whatever you need.”

Jeff kissed Jensen's palm. “I love you,” he said, before kissing Jensen. Jensen let out a groan as Jeff's tongue slipped past his lips. He pulled Jeff closer and closed his eyes. Jensen could feel Jeff's erection against his thigh before Jeff pulled back only far enough that they could share breath. “Come with me?” Jeff whispered.

Jensen smiled at him, “anywhere.”  



End file.
